Title: A Matter of Remorse 1/2
Rating: NC-17 (M on fanfiction.net)
Genre: Porn With Plot
Warnings: Happy Portalversary you lot! Have some ChellxGLaDOSxWheatley - in two parts - part 2 will be up later tonight as I have things to do. Robotsex. yesss.
Pairings: Threesome (See above.)
Summary: Wheatley is rescued from space, only to find out that Chell had been asked to meet some rather unusual conditions for the nature of his rescue…
Disclaimer: Portal is Valve’s
Wheatley could honestly say with all the certainty of any capital brilliant scientist that Space was very overrated. There were a number of things he presently felt were incredibly overrated. Like remorse. Remorse was fine when you might have had a hope of rescue, but at the moment he didn’t feel very much like being remorseful or saying he was sorry. It just stood to reason that if one is floating through space, enjoying (no, SHE wasn’t the only one with a sarcasm processor built in) being battered by gamma radiation and being perpetually ranted at about Space Cops and Robot Saturn and some daft family the stupid little thing had cooked up over the course of seven-hundred-twenty-one-minutes-three-seconds-and-seven,eight,nine,four seconds-zero milliseconds, one millisecond…
The core gave himself a little shake, spinning his optic in an effort to get his own internal clock out from the forefront of his internal CPU. It was an easy pattern to slip into. Gave him something to do now that remorse had lost its entertainment value. Not, he supposed that it had ever been particularly entertaining to begin with and endless counting wasn’t that much fun either.
“Earth, earth, earth, wanna go back to earth!” the shrill, overly machine-like voice of the space core cut into his thoughts. A sharp spire of irritation for the interruption of his mental dialogue caused him to take a moment to process what had just been said.
He rotated as far as his optic would let him see the other core at its’ present point in the orbit around him. “Ya finally starting to make some bloody sense mate? Good for you!”
The core quivered in his line of vision, its perpetually high voice becoming higher and higher, a hint of a whine that had nothing to do with any emulation of a human voice or emotion creeping in. “Space too big, gotta go back to Earth, Earthearthearthear—“ and with a crackle of static and a final hiss of synapses, the core’s voice petered out into a squeal of abused electronics before the silence of space was no longer disturbed by baseless chatter. Wheatley did not have to be looking at him to know what he would see if he did. The orange eye would be glowing faintly with perhaps a little residual power build-up, but it was very likely that being as they were stuck out here with no scientists or machines to fix them and no hope of ever returning, the shorted out core body would be silently orbiting him for as long as it took for his own internal workings to follow suit.
It was impossible not to wonder how long that would take. He liked to think he was somewhat more in control than the corrupted Space core had been, but Aperture in line with the whole facility enjoyed messing with it’s A.I’s as much as its test subjects. Not even GLaDOS had been safe from the small amount of corruption that had allowed the core transfer to become a possibility.
So, one could see why he might be bored with remorse and perhaps a little angry at his consistent ability to speak too soon.
At present he was floating upside down, his optic toward the grey face of the moon. As far as the span of boredom went, this particular position was one of the better ones, as he was able to see each crater as he drifted by. At least there was always something to look at from this angle. Much to his distress his mind began to fill in his now silent companion’s chatter in his absence. Crater, crater, couple of greyish-white rocks, giant orange portal…
It took about a single millisecond after precisely this thought for his lazy drift to speed up towards the aperture in the moon, right past it until with a sickening jolt he was sure had knocked half his internal workings out of line, he was brought to a halt, hit with a horrible sense of deja-vu as the Space core went spinning by him off into the further reaches of space. Something was dragging him backwards, something powerful enough to fight the vacuum, something metal – and he had a pretty good idea what that something was.
Right. Back to remorse. Remorse was A Very Good Thing.
His second experience with freefall was nearly as terrible as the first…or, possibly worse. He couldn’t tell. He fell for a short distance to meet a very familiar grey floor, which his optic was now having a very personal and intimate experience with. His handles scrabbled uselessly against the slick metal, trying to flip him over.
“Um.” His voice was muffled. “I would really really like to see what is going on here. Please.” He added as an afterthought.
He was actually rewarded with a neat shove to his side and he received his first look at his surroundings. As he had feared, he was back in Her layer, but that was not the thing that grabbed his immediate attention.
She was anchored to the wall by two of GLaDOS’ prongs, one on either side of her thin waist. Her left hand was holding the familiar ASHPD, her right closed in a death grip along the cable portion of GLaDOS’ appendage. For whatever reason, she had somehow convinced the matriarch of Aperture to rescue him. Or torture him. Or both. Remorse. Yes, remorse. He remembered that remorse was useful.
“I am going to make it perfectly clear that this is not my idea.” The maddeningly acerbic voice echoed from above him, and the baleful yellow eye swam into his line of vision. “If I had it my way, you would be burning in an incinerator right now.”
Wheatley’s little computer hopes began to soar. “Oh…well. Um. That’s very good then because I would much prefer not to burn in an incinerator. In fact that is the very last thing I would like to do, apart from perhaps Android Hell.” He babbled. “Or um, screaming robots or playing ‘catch’ with the Mantis Men or any of the other horrible things. The best thing to do here would just to let me go. I mean, I was floating through space for so long, I have re-heally learned my lesson here. So yes. I’ll get back to my management rail and I really am impossibly sorry.”
He opened his eye to see if any of his carefully rambled out speech had worked.
The gold eye narrowed to a slit. “You are really remarkably stupid.Moron. No one is going to forgive you. In fact, the general idea is to make you suffer worse than before.”
A pang of fear running through him, Wheatley’s optic swivelled towards the woman who had remained silent through this exchange, her cheeks somewhat pinker than normal. Reddened cheeks usually meant a human was upset, wasn’t that right? He somehow doubted he was about to get any help from her. “L…listen, I really mean it about being sorry. Really mean it. I mean, on a scale of one to ten and I mean actual ten, not binary for two, I would have to say about an eleven. Maybe a twelve. I am really really sorry and I would like very much for you to know that and I am not just saying that so I don’t die here”
GLaDOS snorted with laughter above him and Wheatley knew he’d overplayed it. Maybe he just ought to be honest.
“Well, alright then, fine. I guess I don’t really have anyone’s best interests at heart – if I had a heart – but my own, but you really have to be in my position here. Let’s face it, neither of you has an excellent track record of telling little ol’ Wheatley the truth and then there was all that talk of killing and torture and trying to fry my poor brain with those paradoxes. Oh yes, I understand what you were trying to do. I am much less of a moron than you seem to think.” Wheatley’s pride would not let him rest, particularly not if he was going to die.
He looked around, hoping for at least some measure of any emotion from the test subject, but she was just standing there, watching the exchange with her mouth set in a line and something strange and unreadable in her glass-grey eyes. Her skin had gone even redder. Actually more like pink. In fact, it all looked distinctly uncomfortable. He was put in mind of the somewhat angry vermillion colour of stove elements heating up. He wondered if she was warm to the touch, or at least more so than normal.
Extending herself towards Chell in an unmistakable ‘go on’ gesture, GLaDOS made a sort of ‘shrugging’ motion with her chassis. “He’s probably safe to touch now, but I’ll be angry if you give yourself frost bite and can no longer test. That was part of the deal.”
Chell moved suddenly, walking over and bending next to the core on her knees, removing the Portal gun and putting it within easy reach in the practiced motion of one who was quite paranoid. She put one finger out tentatively, prodding the still cold metal with just the tip. He was indeed cold but no more so than picking up something from inside a refrigerator. She ran the flat palm of her hand over him once. She didn’t seem to be killing him, though her cheeks were still inflamed. It didn’t really reflect the fact that her hands seemed to his internal temperature controls no more or less warm than they had ever been.
“Ah,” He rocked beneath her hand, not wishing to push his luck by saying something that would incite her to anger. “That is rather nice.” He added carefully.
“If I had the capacity to be ill, I would be.” GLaDOS predictably added her two cents, but it came out in something of a strange tone, far more of an irritated grumble than a sarcastic rejoinder.
Chell too was behaving strangely, standing up to communicate with silent charades, sweeping her hand up and down her body and then pointing at the sphere on the ground, forcefully saying something that caused the chassis to emit a great sigh and even shrink back a little. It baffled Wheatley, but considering no killing or other unpleasantness had happened yet, he was willing to be resigned to ignorance. Whatever terms had been offered, they were certainly working in his favour so far, save perhaps that being in Her chambers was not high on his list of ideal places to find himself (unless of course he was the one back in control of the chassis.)
GLaDOS optic widened. “I don’t suppose we could get to the testing first.” She asked slyly.
Chell was nobody’s fool and she knew the A.I better than that, particularly not one to miss the artfully worded nature of the question. Had she agreed to testing under a previously unspecified time period, she would be caught in a loophole. She shook her head emphatically and affixed the Matriarch of Aperture with her best ‘silent judging’ glare.
“Oh very well. I suppose we can’t always be dealing with morons. Just fat orphans. I honestly think a little testing would have done you good, I am really not sure how my chassis is going to take all the strain. I can’t begin to tell you that between you and the moron I am the one being punished here.”
Of course GLaDOS would fall back on her favourite ways of needling Chell when all else failed. One bright grey eye sparkled with determination and the next moment Wheatley felt himself lifted off the floor, a soft ‘whoah!’ of surprise escaping him. Chell was a lot stronger than she appeared.
She turned him in her hands so that she was looking down into his optic and glanced back up at GLaDOS.
“Inside.” The A.I huffed in obvious irritation, almost rolling her own optic. “I cannot believe I agreed to this.” She repeated for the second time in almost the same span of time.
Wheatley began to panic as Chell’s hand, usually encompassed by the Portal gun began sneaking its way through his interior cables, wires and the various drives that encompassed the core and made him the personality he was. It was a little disconcerting to realize that something whether good or evil had exhibited such human like tendencies in spite of being no more than a handful of various metal components, but then too, humans were a slurry of meat, chemicals and organs and considering she was about to lose one of those very important bits of meat and organs if she was not more careful with Wheatley, she put the notion out of her head.
GLaDOS, still in a much more frustrated voice than normal snapped at him to shut up and let Chell do whatever she was doing. He forced himself to listen and stay still. She had always had a tendency to be somewhat melancholy and childish when no one in her immediate vicinity was suffering or testing.
It took Chell a moment or two to find what she was looking for, a tiny switch, next to a small port. Under much duress, GLaDOS had been forced to explain what the port was for and what the switch did: namely…
She flicked it and Wheatley’s panels flared out like a fleur-de-lis almost causing her to drop him. “Ohhhh, what was that? I…I…I don’t know what you wanted to accomplish but that. That was a burst of testing euphoria, that was…” his panels contracted again and he rocked back up against her, snuggling himself under her breasts and dropping his voice. “Uhh…I that was really good I mean, one of my better ideas, hear me out here: but how about you just keep doing that and I’m going to pretend that I really really am in a lot of pain and really do some quality acting. You can look a little meaner if you like because right now it kind of looks like you meant to do that and I don’t think she’s going to fall for it.”
“First of all, you moron, I can hear you. Second of all, I taught her how to do that.”
Before he could express any surprise with that statement, weird as it already sounded considering just who it was coming from, Chell’s finger depressed the switch a second time.
“Th…this is hmmm…absolutely…horrible.” He ground out, flickering his optic against Chell’s stomach and rocking his hull so that her breasts (Why had he not noticed how useful and…good those were before?) rubbed against him, soft and spreading just slightly around him. “Terrible…just…hgnh…rea—oh-oh…YES LUV! STOP!” he managed to contradict himself quite spectacularly in the same sentence, evidently still under the impression he could fool them into thinking he was being punished. Beneath him, Chell’s abdomen rippled slightly as she laughed silently.
“Alright, this has gone on long enough.” GLaDOS snapped, and Wheatley’s heart sank. Here it came. “I should think you had better give me a little something to work with here because as touching as this is, this is not the agreement we had in mind and quite frankly it is starting to make me want to shut myself down”
Much to Wheatley’s surprise, Chell wriggled her hand free, reached down between them and in one quick flick of motion had pulled her tank top inside out over her head, casually discarding it next to the portal gun. Wheatley stared curiously. He’d always thought humans required clothes, being so fleshy and vulnerable and they had always gotten RATHER upset when they perceived being seen without them. His gaze flicked in childish curiosity between a certain amount of concern for the Lady being without her protective layer and upwards, hoping and not entirely sure why he hoped for such a thing that she would get rid of that dreadful blue thing. In fact, he was very sure he hated that blue thing with every last synapse he could muster and hoped it understood why exactly it had no right to be such an amazing colour.
Miraculously, Chell did indeed bring her hands around to her back, undoing the horrid blue thing. He had only one momentarily teasing view of what was inside before the vengeful thing dropped itself atop him, obscuring his vision.
“Oh come now Luv, please take this thing off me!” he begged. “Please, I really would like to see!”
This of course pleased GLaDOS, who chuckled darkly from somewhere (somewhere way too close) behind him. “Oh that’s good. That’s driving him nuts, isn’t it.” She was – the only word for it was purring, horrible monster that she was.
“Come on now, you have to let me see, I mean, I would never withhold such fascinating surprises! Two of them even! You could just let me see one!” The core wheedled. “Old Wheatley doesn’t deserve thi—-what is THAT?” he yelped as something metal scraped across his hull, pushing the blue thing further into his vision. Chell suddenly gave a sort of great sigh and a bit of a wriggle and when her knees suddenly no longer supported him and he rolled backward out of her lap to rest against the ground, his vision clear once more.
The sight that met his optic was enough to bring even him to silence. GLaDOS had her chassis pulled all the way up to Chell, supporting her around her waist and bringing her hips just slightly off the floor, that large square optic pressed into those delightful core-like structures in the midst of her chest.
It seemed they were as soft as they looked, mallable as Wheatley stared, quite forgetting to feel frustration as he watched GLaDOS – Her, The murderous bane of his entire existence who loved calling people nasty names and showering them with neurotoxin and crushing them – SHE was nuzzling his test subject and touching his somethings (Well he supposed they were her somethings really but he was quite certain they were meant for him somehow, not Her), which seemed to like the attention a fair bit as he watched them perk at the end. He’d heard something about something getting hard when humans were…
This was what this was, wasn’t it? GLaDOS had the itch. He could have laughed aloud. This was a bizarre way of taking care of it, but one thought crossed his mind in that moment. One simple thought.
I can do it better.
In that case, he felt he ought to catch up. Chell’s fingers had slipped up under GLaDOS own optic and the other cable had moved to her hair, stroking it. It sort of wasn’t fair, Wheatley knew that humans liked to be touched, and he didn’t have the tools for that. It was time to set his brilliant mind to work on figuring out the solution to this test.
Above him, the cable had now moved between Chell’s legs, rubbing hard between them, over the orange cloth of the jumpsuit.
“Humans…” GLaDOS murmured in an unusually low voice “Are disgusting.”
Chell chuckled and squirmed, continuing undeterred to feel around the large metallic plate that served for her eye and managed to hit something, likely the same spot that spread the euphoria through his body. Her body bucked and she let out a garbled sort of sound.
“Good.” She purred, her voice coming out low and breathless, the chassis drooping only momentarily and the cable between Chell’s legs did not pause in whatever it was trying to accomplish.
Wheatley refocused on the area, noting the moisture that was seeping through the cloth. Whatever this leaking was, it did not inspire in him his usual fear of water but rather a feeling comparable to the itch. Having gone so long without it, he let out a little embarrassing squeak of a noise,
Both GLaDOS’ optic and Chell’s head swivelled towards him almost as though they had forgotten he was there at all. The former with annoyance and the later with amusement.
GLaDOS spared a sidelong glance for the human she held in her claws. “We could leave him there.”
Chell brought up a hand to give the A.I a light shove.
“I know.” She huffed, depositing Chell back on the ground. Disappointed that the fun seemed to be over, Wheatley felt defeated. Defeated and very…Itch-like.
“Alright alright, I’ve learned my lesson. I’m all Itchy and you’re all happy and have had your fun, though for all you go on about science I don’t see what was very scientific about that.” He grumbled. At least he was able to get a decent eyeful of the somethings. Maybe that was worse. He had wanted to touch them some more after all.
“This isn’t over.”
Along side her, Chell shook her head in agreement with GLaDOS’ statement.
The fear had returned. Wheatley couldn’t decide whether this was better than the Itch or worse. “What happens now?” he managed to whisper.
“Now.” GLaDOS brought her head very close to his, her optic narrowing to a pinprick of malevolent light, the glee in her tone a palpable thing. “Now things get interesting.”